Week One and the Bus Experience

Week one has finished of the tour, and so far it's gone great. The crowds have ranged from hysterically lively to quietly appreciative, but we've gotten a standing ovation from each one so far.

Cities We've hit This Week:

• Bradford, PA (Home of the Zippo)
• Williamsport, PA (where my old friend Issac Falkes came to see it)
• Toledo, OH (where my dear uncle, aunt, and grandma attended)
• Easton, PA (home of the Crayola factory, and thanks to all the Faire fans who swung by that night too)
• Wilkes-Barre, PA
• West Point, NY 
• Charleston, WV

Some beautiful countryside, from West Point especially. A sparkling river running through rolling hills and mountains. We got off the bus, and someone said "Where's Hogwarts?" I looked at the castle-like architecture of the West Point buildings and said "I think we're at it."

A Peek Behind the Curtain

And now for a little bit of inside info about the glamorous life of the touring actor. Today we'll discuss the bus. Which, as buses go, is quite nice. Everyone gets their own two seats; this was a very good decision on the company's part, as being able to stretch a bit has a massive effect on morale, especially considering we're on that thing for an average of 7 hours a day.

There's power, and a wireless internet connection that kind of works, but only when specific conditions are met (I'm starting to figure out the formula... it's a complex algorithm based on the bus's GPS location, vector and speed of the bus itself, where you're seated on the bus, and Mercury's position in relation to Saturn's house). Motion sickness is an issue, but with a good supply of Dramamine I'm pretty set to watch movies, or check email (sporadically), or conquer Europe: I play a computer game called Europa Universalis which I'm convinced helps get me in character for the show, since it involves being the leader of a European nation.

This bus is certainly not without its challenges. Sleep is the big one. Many of our bus calls are as early as 4:30 in the morning, and there are quiet hours enforced until noon. Everyone tries to get as much shut-eye as they can during this time, but this is no easy procedure. 

Half the cast sleeps stretched out on their seats, with their torso on one doubleseat and their legs spanning the gap so their feet rest upon the corresponding doubleseat on the other side. These are the seat sleepers, of which I am one. Your advantage as a seat sleeper is you get the padding of the chairs. However, since the seats don't line up exactly right, you need to sleep at some interesting angles in order to fully stretch out. I have found three positions (on my left side, on my back, on my right side) from which I may attempt slumber, but each of these requires a slightly different contortion and a different combination of seats used to achieve maximum comfort (which, even at its maximum, is tolerable at best).

Then there are the floor sleepers. These adventurous, non-claustrophobic souls lower themselves down into the gap between the seats, where they then stretch out to the best of their ability. Frequently, they will lay down all manner of padding first; mattress topper, yoga mats, blankets, etc. Once you get down there, there's a surprising amount of room, but the process of lowering yourself into your desired position is arduous enough that it requires a commitment: you better know for sure that you're going to sleep once you go down into the floor cave, because it's a long and complicated process if you want to surface for air.

Make no mistake, sleep is possible on this bus, but it is a hard fight that will result in at best a pyrrhic victory. You doze in fits and starts; forcing yourself to close your eyes, knowing full well that it might just be you and your thoughts for maybe even half an hour before sleep overtakes you... and then you might wake up only half an hour later to begin the process again. 

Every magical moment that I glance at my watch, close my eyes, then glance at my watch again and notice that a measurable amount of time has passed while I was in REM is a battle won in the war against insomnia. But these victories are not achieved without their share of scars: aching muscles that result from strange and eldritch sleeping positions, or bruises that you develop from God knows what poking into your back for hours at a time.

Don't even get me started on if you have to go to the bathroom. Imagine being at the front of the bus, looking to your destination at the back, and finding your way blocked my a jungle of arms and legs; some at floor level, some floating two feet up like fallen trees in a slumbering human Amazon. A spider monkey in top physical condition might be able to make the trek... whereas I usually just try to hold it to the next rest stop.

Pictures!

This is the theatre at West Point. It seats over 4,000, apparently. Largest space we've played so far.

This is the view from the stage of the Wilkes-Barre Theatre.

This is the view from BELOW the stage of the Wilkes-Barre Theatre. I went looking for the green room and wound up on Battlestar Galactica.


This is an abstract scuplture outside the theatre in Charleston. When viewed in the light, it's shape seems meaningless, but when viewed in silhouette...


It's clearly a crude representation of the "Trojan Rabbit" from Spamalot. Either that or Don Quixote tilting at windmills...